Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work

On its opening weekend I went to see Quantum of Solace the second serving of Daniel Craig Flavored James Bond.  I’ve been looking forward to this sequel ever since I saw the very impressive Casino Royale and for me it did not disappoint (well in most areas).

The story continues where Casino Royale left off with a James Bond who’s boarding on insanity and is on a relentless mission to achieve tranquility by killing the murderer of his wife.  The Character Development alone in this movie clearly sold it for me, we have a Bond who can’t sleep, is reckless and is not thinking clearly about how he affects the people surrounding him.

This leads to some deaths that could have been prevented, deaths that in turn pull bond out of his selfishness and coldness.  The tight character work didn’t stop with Bond there were unique characters peppered throughout the whole film like Camille Montes played by actress Olga Kurylenko, who is also on a dark path of revenge as well. The movie uses foreshadowing of a horrific event in Camille’s past to bring the character full circle at the end, although for all its beauty this diamond has some flaws as well.  I’ll admit it’s more of a personal nit-pick than a critique but for the love of god why so many chase scenes!?!?  I understand that a Bond flick with no chase scene is like an insert clever metaphor here, but whatever the case the director felt strongly about including the four elements Earth, Water, Wind, and Fire in his film which he did successfully all through fucking chase scenes. This leads me to believe that the director and writer have some sort of fetish or repressed childhood memories involving sex and freeze tag.  Minor annoyance aside this movie is a definite go see and one for the personal collection.  If you’re ready for your Bond to involve into a real breathing character Quantum of Solace, and it’s slightly older but better brother Casino Royale deliver on all fronts.  My final

Grade

A-

Little Big Planet, a game that is built mainly on the idea of community, is suppose to be the most highly anticipated title this year for the Playstation 3. The idea of what the title offered is what inspired me to pick-up a Playstation 3 system. A heart filled game that contains, platforming, puzzle solving, co-op, and an endless amount of free downloadable content provided by gamers and developers alike. Now that the title has dropped does it live up to the hype or will it join my list of possible Game of the Year (GOTY) that turned out to be disappointments?

Little Big Planet or LBP as referred to on many forums is a highly ambitious title developed by Media Molecule. Media Molecule is a small studio composed of former Lionhead Studios (Fable) employees. Their first game LBP was a platformer that would allow players not only to live in the world of LBP, but add to it. The players would have access to the same tools the developers have to compose basically anything they could imagine within the game’s universe.

The game mechanics amazingly runs off an excellent physics engine. You control a plush character known as a Sackboy/Sackgirl. With your character if you jump off a ledge onto a seesaw the object on the other end will be launched into the air as it would in real life. The way the objects react in the world is a true sight to behold. Imagine adding rockets to an orange. As it takes off you can see your Sackboy holding on for its life. Unfortunately the orange doesn’t splat like a real orange would when hitting an object at high speeds. Still you will have fun interacting with the objects and playing with the physics.

The initial stages created by the developers are well thought out. They take you around the world and the culture of each continent truly influences the style of the stages. If you’re connected to the Playstation Network (PSN) you can see an up to date scoring as you complete your stage and collect points. It is fun to see your high score, conquer it and see the next person on the rankings list. It is almost like an endless challenge trying to find all the items and obtain the number one score for each stage. All of the stages also include sub levels which work as mini-games. Some of them are as simple as tie jump (variation of jump rope) to obstacle courses. There is so much variety and the ability to play other’s creations, the game will take a while to get stale.

Sony may have found the one icon to represent their system brand. The Sackboy is an awesome character and LBP allows you to customize it looks. When they first announced the Kratos (God of War) and Nariko (Heavenly Sword) skin I realized the possibilities of the character. With Old Snake (Metal Gear Solid) and Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII) Sony is going to make a killing off of DLC (downloadable content). I can’t wait to see the plush dolls and cartoon series. There is a lot potential in marketing LBP outside of video games for the game.

The game allows you to control the characters emotions with the D-pad. Each of the four directions offers three levels of the emotions. By holding the L2 and R2 you can use the right and left analogs to control the arms and the Sixaxis allows you to move the head. The coolest feature comes with online chat. The Sack characters will lip sync to any speech from the Bluetooth headset. Keeping that in mind you could possibly use LBP to re-enact any of your favorite movie scenes or create a new macinema of your own. With these type of possibilities LBP really starts to show it’s value.

The best feature of LBP comes in the form of it’s creativity. I have taken a look at other people’s creations and trust me there is more great content then bad creation. I have came across a “Ninja Warrior” stage (my favorite so far) is well made, that I can’t wait to see the future levels. People have also used their creativity to recreate music. People will have you ride a vehicle that will play the Metal Gear Solid theme or Final Fantasy: Advent Children song. It is so satisfying seeing the different types of content. It inspires me to try and create a level of such high quality that others will remember and talk about me. I am so psyched to see the what the future holds and whether the LBP community can outshine the developers.

The sad thing is that LBP is not a perfect game sadly. My main gripes with the game is the floaty jump mechanics. I know the game is based off of physics but it sometimes feels that the jumps don’t seem to connect every time I hit the X button. I find myself dying because the jumps seem not respond the way you feel they should.

My next gripe is with the online servers. The servers went to shit at launch and started to affect my single player campaign. Basically my game would lag to the point it took 5mins for a stage to load. To remedy this issue I had to log out of my PSN ID. The issue was so bad that they had to take down the servers. This meant that there was no online co-op, scores, created content, or updates. This was very frustrating seeing that a game based on creativity and community was killed at launch by technical issues. Luckily the issue has been resolved and I am really enjoying it.

In conclusion LBP is a must have title if you own a PS3. Is it worth buying a PS3 I really can’t say right now. The music for the game is amazing and I am enjoying every track. The customization of you Sack person and stage are truly great. The minor issues with jumping supposedly will be patched and even though people complain about the Z movement (moving from the background to the foreground) that too will be patched. The game is truly a diamond in the rough and even though it has a “kiddie” look the game can appeal to any gamer. This is definitely a game that belongs in any collection. If you own a PS3 BUY, don’t rent, Little Big Planet.

LBP gets a

A

Maj

There are three major next generation systems and I have yet to voice my opinions on them. The systems overall aren’t bad per se it’s just that there is room for improvement. It has been a pretty long time since the launch of the Wii, 360, and PS3 and most consumers know what each system offers. I figured that I would review each system as they stand and there potentials. I will also include my personal request for the next iterations of the systems.

Lets start out with the most popular (sales wise) of the systems. The Nintendo Wii was the laughing stock of the next gen systems when first introduced. I figured like others that it was nothing more than a gimmick. YAY another kiddie Nintendo system to play Mario and Zelda part 456 games on. Since their launch they have proved that they are more than just a gimmick (to an extent). Outselling both the 360 and PS3, the Wii has jumped to the top of almost every holiday wish list. It seems that every year there is shortage of systems or accessories.

I received my Nintendo Wii right after the holiday of it’s initial launch. I really didn’t have any interest in procuring a system, but I received it as a Xmas gift from my fiancée. When I first loaded the Wii I was intrigued by it’s channel interface. I quickly created my avatar, rather Mii and played my first game of Wii sports. I come to realize that the Wii was not that bad of a console. Easy to use interface and fun simplistic games. I enjoyed playing Legend of Zelda and later on Smash Bros.

The one thing I hate about the system is that it is too simplistic. The games seem to be crafted for a 6 year olds or my grandmother. If I wanted simple games like that all the time I would go to yahoo games and play them for free. I hear that Super Mario Galaxy is the game that suits my needs, but really how many times is Mario going to be forced down my throat. I understand that is your Icon and their games rake in the money but Come the Fuck On! Remake Punch-Out (I know it is coming out) or F-zero. Give us some classics that don’t have 500 sequels too.

The next thing I hate is the internet interface. Nintendo I understand the reasoning behind the Wii code but make that a parental fucking control option. Why the fuck do I have to look up a 16 digit code and send it to everyone I want to play with. Then I have to wait for them to send me their code. Why can’t I say hey so and so my username is blah blah blah add me to your friends list. This has to be the most annoying option EVER for playing a game online. It is almost like everyone at Nintendo is opposed to having fun playing online. Are you guy/gals even fucking gamers. Once you connect to a game it’s nearly almost impossible to play because of the lag. Maybe it’s because everyone is on a wireless connection, who knows Nintendo needs to look into it. Oh I forgot Nintendo doesn’t care about online so it will never happen. I had better connection playing on a 28.8 dial-up modem.

Man I can probably write a 500 page document on my issues with Nintendo but I will limit it to this last gripe. There is something about your games that kill my interest in finishing games.. Maybe the whole kiddie/family persona is a turn off, but I have yet to complete one game to completion. I play it for a good amount of time and lose interest. I used to beat Zelda games 2 or 3 times, but not this new one. Paper Mario seemed like a waste of time also. Maybe it is the controller. Maybe I am tired of wagging it around looking like a fool having a seizure. Who knows they seem to be fun for a bit and then lose their flare. Perhaps I am filled with so much animosity over the Nintendo 64 and Gamecube, that my subconscious won’t allow me to enjoy anymore Nintendo games. I will get into my hate for their previous systems another day.

Nintendo has a lot of useless games coming out this holiday season. Many fans will be treated to gems however in the form of Rock Band 2 and Animal Crossing. The hate is so strong in me over this review that I really don’t give a rat’s ass about continuing. If you are a Wii fan then you’ll have fun this holiday season. Me on the other hand, well I am wondering who I can con into buying my system and games. Oh that’s right it was a Xmas gift and unfortunately it will be stuck on the shelf collecting dust. Some thing I would love to see out of Nintendo’s current or next system is an improvement in the online infrastructure. Get rid of the Wii codes or put it as a setting in the parental controls. Next is they need to go to HD. My GOD 480p is ugly on a 50 inch HD TV. The jaggies just kill my eyes. Thirdly create a controller that can connect together and make it feel like a normal controller then you can separate into the Wii remote. Lastly put some new hardcore games on the system. We need to see more games like “No more Heroes” grace the system and less Mario and Zelda titles.

The Wii gets a:

C

Maj

The next review will be the Microsoft Xbox 360